Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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