i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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