i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
