I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
