i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You pole danced in your parka.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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