she woke up with a sticky ear
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
