Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize