i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I believe in your delicious
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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