I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize