She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
