I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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