fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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