i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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