We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
