Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
