I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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