Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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