Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
