wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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