we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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