do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Boobs are out for the taking
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
