ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize