he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I would ride that face into the sunset
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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