I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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