dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
