I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
