She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
