The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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