New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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