It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
