i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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