Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
