I molested 6 butterflies tonight
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
