When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i've created a new STD.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
