she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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