Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
