HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
