You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
