How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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