Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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