the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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