What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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