East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
