I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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