i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
