if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
