Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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