there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i think i have two assholes
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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