Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
