1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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