Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've blown a few things in my day
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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