I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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