try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
