Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
then he tried to convert me to islam
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize