Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
