(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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