Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
