true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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