so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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