Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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