Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
