i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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