can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
