Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize