No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
