I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I understand Curling. That high.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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