Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
